


Restart

by poisonedcas



Series: Counting down to what..? [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, a smidge of angst, gratuitous fluff, that's all there is to it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-23
Updated: 2015-05-23
Packaged: 2018-03-31 20:41:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3992086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poisonedcas/pseuds/poisonedcas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The numbers begin again, but only for Dean. Conclusions are jumped to, and words are said.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Restart

It’s just before their 5th anniversary that the new countdown starts. The number on Dean’s hand says 9 and Castiel’s is conspicuously blank.  
The tears in Castiel’s eyes arrive unannounced and uninvited, because it’s not like Castiel didn’t know that Dean had always been too good for him. He knew and he chose to ignore it and now it’s come back to bite him, he knew this day would come but all the same, he wasn’t prepared. Dean sees where he’s looking as soon as he turns and he tries to talk to Castiel but Cas doesn’t want to hear it and so as Dean begins to say,

 

“Cas, wait, it’s not what you-”

 

Cas turns and runs, slamming the door to the bathroom and being grateful, for once, for the lock that Dean insisted on installing after they bought this house together.

 

“Sometimes we need private time, Cas, it’s a thing.”

 

Cas definitely needs private time right now, though he’ll soon have plenty of it. He sits in the bathtub, as far away from the door as he can get, and he cries. He cries over the fact he’d managed to convince himself that he could have this, that it was forever, he cries because he was stupid enough to believe it. He cries harder when Dean tries to open the door and can’t, when Dean pleads with him to

 

“Just let me in, Cas, baby, I swear it isn’t what you think, but I’m not doing this through the door.”

 

He’s sure that Dean can hear him crying, the break in Dean’s voice when he calls him baby tells him everything he needs to know. Cas tries to stop, he really does, but he can’t, and he carries on until he exhausts himself, till the tears won’t fall any more and he’s hiccuping slightly as he falls asleep, hoping beyond hope he’ll wake up and this will have been some awful nightmare.  
He wakes up and he’s still in the bathtub, it takes him a second to recall what he’s doing here but when he does, he doesn’t want to open his eyes and face it again. He has to though, because he can tell he’s no longer alone in the bathroom. He takes a deep breath and opens his eyes. Dean is standing right there and he looks just as bad as Cas feels, his eyes are red rimmed and bloodshot and briefly Cas thinks that it isn’t fair for Dean to look like this when it’s his fault but Cas crushes that thought immediately because it isn’t Dean’s fault, not really. Then Cas can’t look him in the eye any more, so he drops his gaze. It immediately falls onto Dean’s hand and what- it did say nine, Castiel knows that was what it said, but now it says… it says 0 and he looks up to meet Dean’s eyes again, the question obvious on his face as Dean pulls out a ring- Cas’ eyes widen and he has a split second to feel utterly foolish- and proposes.  
Castiel is sure he’s never moved as fast as this in his life, flying out of the bath and into Dean’s arms, Dean, to his credit, catches Cas and hugs him tightly, shushing him softly as a stream of endless

 

“I’m sorry, Dean, I’m so so sorry.” and “I should have trusted you, I should have known.” and “I love you, I’m sorry, I love you.” and “I was terrified I was going to lose you.” and “Yes, Dean, yes I’ll marry you.” falls out of Cas’ mouth in an increasingly jumbled order. They stay there, clinging to each other in the bathroom for hours, both needing the reassurance that the other is still there, and not going anywhere, not for a very long time.


End file.
